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Archive for March, 2010

What is the Depth of the Heart?

How deep does the heart go? Like a well is there a point where no more love can be drawn? Some days love flows thick like sap from a maple tree in March, sticking to all it touches, but moving ever so slowly into the realization of warmth. Other times it flows fast and hard like a river overflowing its banks in the spring… as parts of the source are melted by unexpected joys or sorrows. These moments bring life. Infusions of feeling heighten a pulse.
Some relationships make us dig deeply… finding one more morsel to offer to our beloved in hope that they offer us another morsel of their own to hold dear. We love, we learn, we give, we grow… and so it goes… with each step, without notice we delve into ourselves.
Then suddenly, one day we awaken. The fog lifts and we can see that though we thought our love was as deep as it possibly could be, we realize that our love has grown even deeper seemingly over night. Our heart more open and touched with a warmth and desire never imagined possible.
This is when we hear the crackle of the thin ice beneath our feet. We realize we are in too deep. We see in little things that our beloved will not match us, can not accept the love at this level. Suddenly it all starts to fall away as they turn to look around. Fear in their heart of the unknown depths we have reached. As they take the first step to walk away we can almost hear our heart breaking, the ache of loss unmistakable. The tears are almost uncontrollable. Something in that second breaks… the detachment process begins in spite of any reason or logic. In the language of the heart, it is the subtle movements, the tone and inflection, the intent not so much the words that it hears the most.
There in this moment suspended in deafening achy silence we realize that love can walk away. Love will walk away. And when it does, we must honor that and let it go where it needs to be to feel alive again, unrestrained, unafraid…. as we will be, the next time love comes around close enough to touch.

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